Broken Pieces

It has been too long... dam dam dam too long.... I came back due to inspiration. A few days ago, I saw someones blog and to my surprise she's awesome. But of course not as awesome as Eexin. She is still by far the best blogger I've seen. Anyways, I have been through a lot since I blog. So much as happen and I mean MUCH. Currently using fren's broadband to online (hope he dun mind much). So it is on to surfing for latest hot tracks for my ears. Argh to hell with tat..... I miss "her". yes it is her... the 4th..... she was indeed a magnificent gal and she probably still is... it's been a long time since we stay in touched and I wish i could go back in time and just say out what needs to be said. A lot of things are kept bottle up in my heart and lately the bottle is getting full. I feel tat when it comes to the opposite sex, I am utterly useless. Aside from tat, there is a basketball competition coming up and I feel that I will greatly let my team down. There is a saying in a blog that I read,

Single people mostly party a lot live alone most times

it is true that I am a lot alone at most times. Yeah I have many friends and etc but no matter how many relationships I build, it just seems tat I am still alone. there is another saying i once saw somewhere saying that,

" If a person always make a group or other people happy, that person is the most lonely person."

This is indeed another true fact about myself..... I hate being alone. It makes me feel unwanted or not important. Everyday, I fake a smile to get by and no one saw it was a lie or a cover up. They just think I am that way and just move on with their lives. There is a lot of pain and scars on me that is extremely unbearable. Perhaps it is myself that is the problem. but one way or another, nobody cares.